Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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