Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize