you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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