You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
