arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
