im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she told me i tasted like america
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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