Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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