So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
