I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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