i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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