you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
