Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize