I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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