real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
