Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
