so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
