not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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