no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
