worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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