I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
