Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I deserve this hangover.
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