It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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