i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize