if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
