she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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