I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I party with great urgency now.
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