umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
