Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
