his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
