Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
