:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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