bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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