i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
