these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
