He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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