nut hugger
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
