we're blogging at a bar
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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