I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
