Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
