I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize