Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize