You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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