When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
