I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
soo... how was my night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
