So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
