My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize