I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
