He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
