I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
