cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
