Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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