Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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