now i know why i became what i already was.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
