I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
