I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
