New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
