So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
