if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
