You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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