Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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