I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
