it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
