I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
