dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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